Top 10 Trash TV Boyfriends

More often than not TV has tricked us into thinking some of the worst TV boyfriends were actual heartthrobs who deserved a happy ending. Let’s not drag this out. Here is our top 10 worst:

10. Nick Miller – New Girl

This hurts me because I love Nick Miller, mostly because I believe I AM Nick Miller, but he is genuinely terrible as a boyfriend. He’s lazy, shouts way too often, is unmotivated, grumpy, and almost always has no idea what he’s doing, romantically speaking or otherwise.

It’s like I just described myself.

9. JD – Scrubs

Listen! I know it sounds terrible to suggest this, because we all love Scrubs and we all love JD but think back and answer me this carefully: was their anyone more self-absorbed than JD? He never treated Elliot right, and only cared about his own happiness but they had to get together in the end because this is TV and these are the rules.

To be fair, between his love for himself and his love for Turk – how much love is left?

8. Kelso – That 70s Show

To say that Kelso only cared about Kelso, would be the most accurate thing on this list. His relationship with Jackie was terrible. She wasn’t exactly the best girlfriend ever but she deserved a lot better than someone as narcissistic and unromantic as Kelso. Whether she deserved someone like Hyde is a whole other story.

7. Lawrence – Insecure

I mean, sure, Issa cheats on you so you sleep with someone else to spite her. But that’s not the issue here. Warning, spoilers for season 2.

Lawrence then cheats on his new girlfriend with Issa, and then bails on his girlfriend’s family day to have drinks with colleagues even though he knew him being there meant a lot to her. He continues to neglect her and looks around for new girls to have sex with. He eventually breaks up with her and just goes around leaning into this whole fuckboy thing.

6. Dennis Duffy – 30 Rock

He called Liz “Dummy” all the time. Affectionately? Maybe. But he was just a sleazy human being and probably the most immature person in a world. And this is a world where Tracey Jordan exists. That says a lot.  Also he slept with Jenna (Liz’s best friend) and was on an episode of To Catch a Predator. Because why wouldn’t he?

 

5. Jimmy/Steve/Jack – Shameless

The fact that he had three first names and Fiona never knew which one was real says everything about how terrible he was at being a boyfriend. Super secretive about everything. Loved Fiona but they were toxic together. This is Shameless though, so it’s a given.

4. Chuck Bass – Gossip Girl

Sexually assaults two lead characters in the pilot. Trash from the start.

Fun fact: Ed Westwick, the dude who played Chuck Bass, is being investigated for sexual assault allegations. Of course.

 

3. Damon Salvatore – The Vampire Diaries

Remember that time Damon killed Jeremy in a burst of rage. He claimed he saw the Gilbert ring. I call bullshit. He was lucky because imagine how awkward it would be courting the girl whose brother you killed because you were throwing a fit.

Also, depending on who you ask, Damon raped Caroline in season 1 due to her being under his compulsion.

2. Ted – How I Met Your Mother

Ted did some romantic things but overall treated women terribly – you just don’t notice it because it’s juxtaposed against Satan Barney Stinson. Ted ditched girls because they weren’t matching his ridiculous expectations and/or wasn’t Robin. He also basically used the whole story of how he met his kids’ mother as a way of telling them how much history he has with Robin so that he could give her that Blue French Horn again. If you know what I mean.

 

1. Ross – Friends

I could write 18 pages – front and back – about how terrible Ross was as a boyfriend, and a whole book on him being the worst human being. But here are the highlights:

  • Made of list of pros and cons involving Julie and Rachel (although Chandler suggested this but still).
  • Was “on a break” with Rachel and then five minutes later: BANGs a random girl from the photocopy place.
  • Said the wrong name at the altar.
  • Hid the fact that he and Rachel were still legally married – from Rachel.
  • Never gave a shit about Rachel’s career.
  • Wouldn’t have a male nanny because… reasons. (I know this doesn’t make him a bad boyfriend but this made him a horrible human).

Honourable Mentions:

  • Don Draper – Mad Men
  • Danny Castellano – The Mindy Project
  • Barney Stinson – How I Met Your Mother
  • Roy – The Office
  • Steve – Stranger Things
  • Mr Big – Sex and the City
  • Archie Andrews – Riverdale

Do you agree with this list? Who would you add/remove and why? Tell us in the comments below or argue with us on social media! 

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Dean Ravell

Aspiring writer/director. Fascinated with all kinds of film and just wants to be part of the wonderful world of cinema. #AlmostFamous

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