What are we watching?

by Tendai Sibindi

Let’s paint a picture. It’s date night with your other half- in this case, he or she is probably 95% of the whole- and this time date night’s movie night at the local cinema. It’s time to pick the movie. It may be in the ticket queue; it may be a couple of days before date night; or it may be weeks before at work when you’re on the phone with them. In this picture,  think “What are we watching?” from your perspective.

You say it with the thought of your “bae” in mind: what they like, what you’d both be in the mood for, what your relationship is like, or what you really want to watch (with them). A lot of factors come into play when you ask this question. I’m not a big fan of movies (more of a TV guy) but I enjoy them because of the person I am committed to.

Now ask the same question from your significant other’s point of view: “What are we watching?” There’s a lot riding on this question and the outcome of the night.

Four words with a question mark at the end carrying a lot of weight. In some cases it seems simple, but once it’s asked for date night the council gathers, the joint chiefs are calling via satellite and it has become a national crisis.

All this because your special someone asked, “What are we watching?”. If your best friend asked you that exact question you’d slap the response in their face as if to say “a silly question deserves a silly answer”.  But once it’s the person you would share an egg with on a Sunday morning because you are both broke and laugh about it, everything changes.

So, what are we watching?

Studios, distributors, cinemas and I have come up with a solution for you: Have date nights on release days.

Movies premier on certain days for a reason, they don’t just wing it. It’s a science, and a lot of research has gone into it through the years.

Yes it’s for money, but at the same time it’s actually for your convenience. The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises (both released in 2012) did not premier on the same day for obvious reasons(11 April and 16 July, respectively). Gravity and Thor 2: The Dark World were released in the same month in 2013, but on different days (3 October and 30 October respectively). DISCLAIMER: release dates are subject to the country/ region they were released in.

#ThePlatinumApproval science states that you should have date night on the release date of a movie. Gather up all your coins, save up your notes and seal them in an envelope titled “DATE NIGHT”. And don’t forget to organise with the bank to limit your withdrawals until you have just enough left to keep you going until month’s end.

Having date night on premier night sorts out a lot of your problems:

• No more confusion. The decision is made for you.

• It’s date night and there’s other things you can focus your attention on instead of picking a movie.

• No other movie is worth watching more than the movie that is being released today. No other.

• You get to be the first to watch it. And you get to settle your expectations the second you see the aspect ratio of the screen decreasing for your ultimate movie experience.

• You can make your other half aware of it weeks in advance so they know what to expect in terms of genre, and what to expect in terms of the reputation of the film, actors or director.

• The typical arguments about whether to see a romantic comedy or action movies are avoided- and for the record many action movies are incorporating a love story, so everyone wins.

• 9 out of 10 times, you will both enjoy it. And in the event that they do not enjoy it (which I doubt will happen) you’re not really to blame, after all you just went with premier night in selecting your movie.

It’s date night, your turn to pick the movie and they ask you what you’re going with. Look for that release date and tell them, “Well. (DRAMATIC PAUSE) According to #ThePlatinumApproval, we should watch this movie on this day”.

“What are we watching today?” Is a question you will never have to worry about again.