After Tom Hardy was announced to play Elton John in the Rocketman biopic I racked my brain for more potential casting news that would be greeted with confusion but could maybe kinda actually happen. Here are my top 8:
Jennifer Lopez as Wonder Woman
Why it maybe kinda actually could happen: Jenny’s from the Block, yo. She don’t play no shit. Have you seen her in Enough? She’s got some fight in her. Plus, she’s still got that body. And people would wanna see J.Lo in a big budget movie instead of making B-rated romcoms and judging on X-factor or American Idol or whatever the hell she’s on these days.
Why it probably won’t happen: Well, even though she looks good for her age, she’s still that age. Plus, she has the capacity to be in awful movies i.e. Gigli. Remember that disaster? Also, Ben Affleck is Batman now. Affleck and J.Lo as Batman and Wonder Women? A Justice League movie would be a Gigli sequel. Comic book geeks would commit suicide.
Chris Rock as Barack Obama
Why it maybe kinda actually could happen: African American. Skinny. Not completely unknown. Plus we know he can play the president of the United States of America. Anyone remember Head of State? No? Just me? Well, he did.
Why it probably won’t happen: Chris Rock is hilarious. People like him. But he’s a comedian and Head of State was a comedy. I’d never really take him seriously in a legitimate Barack Obama movie. SNL sketch? Yes. Genuine film? No.
Dwayne The Rock Johnson as Rambo
Why it maybe kinda actually could happen: The Rock’s movie career is blowing up these days. He’s becoming a big name in Hollywood, starring in some blockbuster action films. It looks like he’s moving away from the kiddie films and being a badass again. And Rambo is pretty badass. Plus he’s built like a tank.
Why it probably won’t happen: He’s not Sylvester Stallone. Simple. The Rock can play Hercules, sure. But Rambo? Not now. Sly will roll back the years to make another Rambo flick. He made one in 2008. It’s like if someone else decided to play Rocky. No. It won’t happen right now.
Kaley Cuoco as Marilyn Monroe
Why it maybe kinda actually could happen: She’s slowly becoming less cute and more sexy. She’s blonde, that helps. She’s not as full figured as Monroe but she can be. She’s likeable, young and thanks to The Big Bang Theory she has a bright future ahead of her.
Why it probably won’t happen: She doesn’t really have the acting chops to play a quality Marilyn like Michelle Williams. If she was going to play her, it would be in a made-for-TV movie that people might not watch. That being said, she has a better chance of being a legit Marilyn than Anna Faris.
Giovanni Ribisi as Al Capone
Why it maybe kinda actually could happen: I’ve always said that Ribisi is one of the most underrated actors ever. He’s got range and could actually steal the show in a Capone film. A starring role is what he needs. Plus he’s a quarter Italian. If that means anything…
Why it probably won’t happen: He looks almost nothing like Capone. Ribisi is super skinny. Plus people barely know who Ribisi is. Studios might want a bigger name for box office success.
Kiefer Sutherland as Adolf Hitler
Why it maybe kinda actually could happen: Sutherland is another actor with tremendous range. He has no problem playing the bad guy and is pretty effing good at it. His voice acting in Phone Booth was pretty sinister. Plus, he’s got German ancestry, for what it’s worth.
Why it probably won’t happen: As we saw with Inglourious Basterds, there are some pretty amazing German actors out there and a fair few could play the role of Hitler. Sutherland might be used to draw a big audience but people have the capacity to fall in love with German actors. For example: Christoph Waltz.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Hugh Hefner
Why it maybe kinda actually could happen: JGL is a really good actor and has starred in enough Hollywood blockbusters to ensure bankability. He’s likeable, charming and ladies love him. He can pull off wearing a gown during the day as seen in 500 Days of Summer…
Why it probably won’t happen: If a biopic was ever going to happen, I don’t think they would go that young. He’s likeable but the role of Hefner needs a little less boy-next-door-looking-over-to-see-the-ladies, and more guy-next-door-lounging-at-the-pool-while-the-ladies-feed-him-grapes. The perfect fit for Hugh Hefner – according to me, Hugh Hefner and loads of other people around Hollywood – would be Robert Downey Jr.
Halle Berry as Oprah Winfrey
Why it maybe kinda actually could happen: Academy Award winner. Box office appeal. Studios and producers would feel comfortable knowing she’s a good actor while being a big enough star in Hollywood to appeal to big audiences.
Why it probably won’t happen: Halle Berry looks an awful lot like Halle Berry and lot less like Oprah. Of course make-up could help with that. To be honest, Viola Davis would be my favourite for the role. Also, Taraji P. Henson could be a good alternative. Halle Berry is probably not the right fit. But who knows…
About the author: Dean is a co-founder of BTG Lifestyle who could totally play Batman. Step aside, Affleck. The world needs Dean to be the next Dark Knight.